At last, mopping!

(cyber)war

You dispose of your cyberwaste anywhere, and you don’t care! Of course: cyberspace is “intangible”, so we spit and litter at will! Do you really think that?

Nope! Fortunately, a tidy government was found to put things in order, and an diligent minister to clean things up. We will tell you the name of the minister, find the government yourself: Pompeo…

The Clean Network program is the Trump Administration’s comprehensive approach to guarding our citizens’ privacy and our companies’ most sensitive information from aggressive intrusions by malign actors, such as the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). Today, I am announcing the launch of five new lines of effort to protect America’s critical telecommunications and technology infrastructure.

  • Clean Carrier…
  • Clean Store…
  • Clean Apps…
  • Clean Cloud…
  • Clean Cable…

Momentum for the Clean Network program is growing. More than thirty countries and territories are now Clean Countries, and many of the world’s biggest telecommunications companies are Clean Telcos… The United States calls on our allies and partners in government and industry around the world to join the growing tide to secure our data from the CCP’s surveillance state and other malign entities. Building a Clean fortress around our citizens’ data will ensure all of our nations’ security.

That’s what Pompeo said 5 days ago and it is worth taking it seriously. Not because he accuses these chinese (supposedly) communists of having no manners, of being dirty (they are definitely of rural origin!), and of not even taking off their shoes when they go online. These are expected complaints from the coxcombs of the dead ferret’s nation. The important thing is that (in their despair?) not the chinese of rural origin but the pioneers of internet freedom now want to build a “national fortress” in cyberspace.

One way of fortification is to throw quicklime at the enemy. It has begun. Another way is to pour hot oil on enemy apps. This has begun too. What’s up with the cloud though? The impeccable minister of dead ferret’s nation, with the mop in his hand, says:

The aim of Clean Cloud is to prevent U.S. citizens’ most sensitive personal information and our businesses’ most valuable intellectual property, including COVID-19 vaccine research, from being stored and processed on cloud-based systems accessible to our foreign adversaries through companies such as Alibaba, Baidu, and Tencent.

Oh no! The dead ferret’s nation will build a fortress up to the sky for itself and its allies, it will also set a hospital cross sign on the outside (thanks to covid-19), it will shut itself in, it will also hang curtains on the crenels so that no one can look inside even from there, it will turn its once powerful hi-tech companies into cowboys (since the opponents will not even accept to hear their name – in retaliation) and…

What are you going to do, Mr. Cleaner, inside the fortress? Are you going to hold umbrellas for the missiles? And what about the submarine cables? What about cutting them yourself now, Mr. Pompeii, to have peace of mind? And what about your satellites? Why don’t you shoot them down before they shoot them down for you? Damn them – they’re a hassle… Carrier pigeons are better: the chinese communist party can’t steal them!

Yet that’s how it goes in life too! When one is disappointed in a relationship, when one feels rejected, turns in on oneself… And in a sulk…